8 Discreet Sex Toys for Household Sex
Look no further if you’re looking for a quiet sex toy, whether for a trip home or just very thin walls. There are a variety of options available to help you disguise that all-too-familiar buzzing noise.
A Budget-Friendly Option
With three vibration levels, four pulse settings, a flexible base for inside access, and a brusher design to stimulate your breasts, vulva, and clitoris, you’d think this low-cost godsend of a toy would sound like a construction crew at 8 a.m. But, thankfully, it’s described as “silent but powerful,” so you can have a variety of orgasms without bothering your parents.
When your boyfriend or girlfriend is unable to accompany you home
This best-selling couple’s toy already has a lot going for it: it’s bendable, hands-free, waterproof, rechargeable, and has multiple quieter settings. When you can’t be physically near each other, it comes with an app that you can use from anywhere, making Skype discussions even better.
This is the tool you employ when you need a quick repair.
This teeny-tiny bullet packs a punch and even heats up for sensation play, all while blending in with the background noise in your home. You can surely squeeze in a short orgasm if you’re insatiably thirsty before the family’s hot cocoa.
This is the shirt you wear when you want to brag about how great your sex life with bae is.
This quiet vibrator disguised as a simple minimalist necklace is as unobtrusive as they come, and you’ll have the extra pleasure of your aunt admiring your partner’s amazing gift jewellery collection. You had to acquire it because it’s Joan’s pen necklace from Mad Men, complete with wonderful incentives.
For when you’re Charlotte York in the sheets *AND* at your future mother-in-dinner law’s table.
The Rabbit is possibly the best sex toy, and it must be packed in your luggage if it is a must-have in your sex life. This version is sleek enough to mislead your granddad into thinking it’s really a sculpture of a rabbit climbing a massive carrot, and it comes with a lock feature to prevent unexpected starts at the airport terminal. It can still be used as a conventional dildo if the vibrations are too powerful for you.
This is the place to go if you want to experience body-shaking orgasms.
This is great for when you’re both full from dinner but have been secretly yearning for your man’s wood since you first saw him chop a log. Simply lay it on his penis and set it to “pressure-activated” mode until you’re sure your parents have left.
When you require a unique touch
The moderate vibrations, which mimic the lie detector from Meet the Parents, are just as useful for hand tasks as they are for clitoral stimulation, so you can let it snow all night.
When you want all the bells and whistles but don’t want to spend a fortune
Maybe don’t bring it in the original packaging with “ASS-BERRIES” on the front (because your mother will find it), but this butt plug is the perfect accessory to bring home for the holidays when you want a little anal play but can’t listen to Prince with your parents. When Mom and Dad go grocery shopping, you may even turn on the vibrating feature for an added buzz, and have yourself a very merry Christmas.
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